Happy NFL Day.
The Broncos and Ravens will play live, meaningful, professional football on all our televisions tonight. Your priorities this evening: Food, beer, high definition television, football. And last by not least, setting your fantasy football lineup(s).
(Why I felt the need to put the “s” in parentheses I don’t know. Habit? Who among you only plays in one league? Of course, you should cap your total number of leagues. But just one? C’mon man.)
Unfortunately for me, I’m starting a grand total of ZERO PLAYERS in tonight’s game. I only own one player tonight, and he sucks right now anyway (Thanks for not winning the starting job, Ronnie Hillman). But it will be interesting to see the Denver running back rotation shake out. That’s something to watch for tonight.
Also worth watching: Who the fudge is Joe Flacco going to throw the ball to this season? OH WAIT I DGAF. Flacco sucks. Suck on that, Jaws.
However, I do think this could be a big year for Torrey Smith. I was big on him last summer. Might have been a year premature. Don’t own him in any leagues either, of course.
So since I don’t have to worry about setting my lineups for tonight’s game, I’ve got time to throw some darts. Here’s hoping for a few bulls-eyes this season, because I was BAAAAAD at this last year.
(Not even going to link it for you guys).
1. Doug Martin will be the biggest first-round “bust” of 2013.
I don’t want to believe this, because I drafted him in one league. Most of Martin’s opponents before fantasy drafts this summer pointed to most of his production coming in one game last year. If Tampa Bay is terrible again, too, defenses will stack the box against Martin. Just how much of the load can the Muscle Hamster shoulder?
2. Danny Amendola will play 16 games this season.
And be a PPR monster. Amendola has earned the unfortunate “injury prone” label early in his career. And he’s already hurt this preseason. But I think this is the year he’ll break through, and then he’ll really burn fantasy owners next season.
3. David Wilson will finish the season as a top-5 fantasy football running back.
Boom or bust type player, but I’m betting on the boom. He’ll be a first-round pick in fantasy football drafts next year. Congrats to those of you who bought in this summer.
4. Tony Romo will finish the season as a top-5 fantasy football quarterback.
Because all of you irrationally hate Tony Romo. I used to hate him, too, when it was cool. But when it comes to fantasy football, you have to put your feelings for guys who wear backwards ball caps behind you (just like Romo puts the bill behind him). I’m going full hipster on Romo this year and I considered him the most undervalued quarterback in fantasy football this summer. He’s going to kill it.
5. Jimmy Graham WON’T finish the season as the top fantasy football tight end.
Because I went full Jimmy Graham mode this summer (got him in all three drafts), I’ve probably ended my season — and his — already. I’m trying to put the reverse-curse on Graham. I’m hoping this pleases the fantasy football gods. Maybe they’ll see right through it, maybe they won’t. At least I won’t be a fantasy football douchebag about it.